Thursday, November 12, 2009

Bess' Brother Jesse Gits Married


You know Bess comes from the hill country, an up yonder in them hills, when a boy turns eighteen, he is spected to git a job, help the family out, or just plain git married an move down the road.
 When Bess' brother, Jesse, just before he turned eighteen, went to their paw, an asked what he should do in findin a woman to git married.

His paw tole him, you just go out yonder an find the ugliest wowman, what you can find.

So. Jesse, looked and looked, till he found the ugliest that he could find.

They got married an his family was real proud.

A year went by an Jesse, came to his paw. Paw, this ugly thing is wearin a little thin. I can't git eggsited no more, she's just too ugly, whut should I do.
Paw said, ain't no problem, take her to the city and find one them plastick face doctors, he'll fix her right up.
You sure paw, yep, had your moma fixed, and it werked out just fine.

So, jesse took his bride to the city to the plastick face doctor.
So, Doc, you think you can fixer up?
Oh yeah son, no problem.

Whatcha gonna do, make her nose, wider, shorter, a smaller, or less pointed, or what?

Well, I thought I'd start by puttin her nose between her eyes first.

20 comments:

Innocent Owner Of Mad Cats said...

>>singing<< You Know I Wish I Had Jesse's Girl. :) I don't even want to know where here nose is in the first place. LOL

Tina said...

Bob! You don't need a photographer for that wedding, you need Picasso

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Cute story!! Laughing!!

Sarah said...

so now we know where the brothers got their iq from. lol!

Hunter said...

Depending where her nose was, it could make for interesting smells...

Charlene said...

Oh now - that's just plain mean. I have a feeling you are going to be in trouble with Bess here pretty soon...

plainolebob said...

Mike,lol lets hope not

Tina, I think she was a Picaso

Lee, thanks

Sarah, the brothers are ugly too

Hunter, you got that right

Charlene I WAS being nice, just in case though I'll start on the sewing room

Farila said...

Now now Bob... I know how Bess married you... She went to her Paw and he said... ok let me not tell it out loud.

Marla said...

Well, my Bob always says I'm a 10 cow woman. Always took it as a compliment but now ya got me wondering, Bob.

~Ellie Kings~ said...

so where's this doctor at again? lol
Funny!

plainolebob said...

Farila, you weren't spose to tell no one,lol

Marla, I doubt it, your pic looks way too nice

Ellie, I think that doctor made so much money off that family he moved to Rio

Janice said...

lol funny

Argentum Vulgaris said...

I didn't expect that at the end...

That was funny!

AV

plainolebob said...

Janice, thanks

AV, the big twist

Rae said...

That must have been one ugly woman. Great post. Very funny.

Alice in Wonderland said...

Bob, now that reminds me of my Mother-in-law. She only had one eye...pity it was in the middle of her forehead!

Farila said...

When is Bess coming back??? You may have a nose missing after that...LOL

Tater Tot Mom said...

So funny! I'm lauging my britches off!

Beautiful Dreamer said...

Love it!!! LOL!
Beautiful Dreamer

You can read my blogs at:
http://beautifuldreamersdiary.blogspot.com/
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Fierce said...

if it wa'nt between her eyes, then where was it?
can't wait till Bess gits back, that shud be rather interesting...

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