Bess' Brother Jesse Gits Married

You know Bess comes from the hill country, an up yonder in them hills, when a boy turns eighteen, he is spected to git a job, help the family out, or just plain git married an move down the road.
 When Bess' brother, Jesse, just before he turned eighteen, went to their paw, an asked what he should do in findin a woman to git married.

His paw tole him, you just go out yonder an find the ugliest wowman, what you can find.

So. Jesse, looked and looked, till he found the ugliest that he could find.

They got married an his family was real proud.

A year went by an Jesse, came to his paw. Paw, this ugly thing is wearin a little thin. I can't git eggsited no more, she's just too ugly, whut should I do.
Paw said, ain't no problem, take her to the city and find one them plastick face doctors, he'll fix her right up.
You sure paw, yep, had your moma fixed, and it werked out just fine.

So, jesse took his bride to the city to the plastick face doctor.
So, Doc, you think you can fixer up?
Oh yeah son, no problem.

Whatcha gonna do, make her nose, wider, shorter, a smaller, or less pointed, or what?

Well, I thought I'd start by puttin her nose between her eyes first.